Dealing with Sexual Health in Marriage

Most of us go through life thinking like Evilene from The Wiz. Saying, “Don’t nobody bring me NO bad news! NO Bad news…!” Right?

Yet we know that bad news is part of life and we can’t avoid it.

But there is an area that if we ignore it, it could cost us our lives and that area is our health. I care so much about sexual health that BSB is sponsoring a women’s sexual health summit November 12, 2016, and I am hoping that every single one of you attends the summit and brings a friend or two or 3. Our sexual health is important and yet often ignored by us until there is something wrong. I will share more with you about the summit, but this month’s newsletter article is about men’s health.

Unless your husband is required to maintain certain health standards for his career, studies show men just don’t like going to the doctor because they fear the “bad news.” As a wife and life partner, I encourage you to be an active good health advocate for you and your husband. Unexpected medical bills are top causes of financial and emotional stress in marriages. Major health issues that predominately affect African American men with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes, are manageable when under doctor’s care. Becoming partners with your husband in this area may cause some tension. Will your husband think you are being in his business or nagging him? Maybe he doesn’t want you involved because he doesn’t want to worry you? Regardless of his response, it is important that you start with compassion and not judgment. Remind him that this is part of life and you two are in this life together. Research the options presented by the doctors and don’t be afraid to talk to friends and family who have had similar experiences so that the two of you together can weigh your options.

Lastly, lead by example. If you are avoiding doctor’s appointments, tests, follow-up exams, start with getting yourself together physically, mentally and emotionally. We need you, One Sexy Wife, and so does your family. Please print this suggested list from Men’s Fitness magazine and go over it with your husband and your husband’s doctor. It’s a good place to start and to use to keep track, but I added the dentist because the health of the teeth is indicators of other health issues. And for those of you who may be upset or offended that sexually transmitted disease tests are on the list, let me note that our average reader has a 7-year-old marriage and many diseases like herpes and HIV lay dormant for an average of 6 years. Also, the number one growing population of newly affected sexually transmitted diseases of women over 50. Yeah, we have to take care of every aspect of our lives!

Here are suggested check-ups for men sexual health at different ages:

In their 30s:

• Annual physical exam by your primary care physician, including blood pressure, and height/weight checks
• Screening for testicular cancer, including monthly self exams
• Cholesterol testing every 5 years
• Depending on your individual circumstances, your doctor may want to do an electrocardiogram to check for heart disease, and blood tests to screen for diabetes, thyroid disease, liver problems, and anemia
• Depending on risk factors, your doctor may also recommend screening for skin cancer, oral cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV infection, and alcohol abuse
• Vision examination
• Screening for coronary heart disease in individuals with strong family history and/or risk factors

In 40s:

• Annual physical exam by your primary care physician, including blood pressure, and height/weight checks
• Screening for testicular cancer, including monthly self exams
• Cholesterol testing every 5 years
• Depending on your individual circumstances, your doctor may want to do an electrocardiogram to check for heart disease, and blood tests to screen for thyroid disease, liver problems, and anemia
• Screening for prostate cancer
• Diabetes screening every 3 years over the age of 45
• Depending on risk factors, your doctor may also recommend screening for skin cancer, oral cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, and alcohol abuse
• Vision examination
• Screening for coronary heart disease in individuals with strong family history and/or risk factors

In their 50s

• Annual physical exam by your primary care physician, including blood pressure, and height/weight checks
• Screening for testicular cancer, including monthly self exams
• Cholesterol testing every 5 years
• Annual screening for Type II diabetes
• Depending on risk factors, your doctor may recommend screening for skin cancer, oral cancer, lung cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, and alcohol abuse
• Screening for lipid disorders
• Annual electrocardiogram
• Vision and hearing examinations
• Screening for prostate cancer
• Screening for colon cancer with fecal occult blood testing, sigmoidoscopy, or colonoscopy at age 50
• Screening for coronary heart disease in individuals with strong family history and/or risk factors
• Screening for depression

In their 60s:

• Annual physical exam by your primary care physician, including blood pressure, and height/weight checks
• Screening for testicular cancer, including monthly self exams
• Screening for prostate cancer
• Screening for lipid disorders
• Annual electrocardiogram
• Discuss with your physician screening for coronary heart disease, abdominal aortic aneurysm, and carotid artery ultrasound screening
• Vision and hearing examinations
• Screening for osteoporosis
• Depending on risk factors, your doctor may recommend screening for skin cancer, oral cancer, lung cancer sexually transmitted diseases, and alcohol abuse
• Continue colorectal screening based upon previous studies and results
• Screening for depression
• Screening for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease