You have heard the saying: As a Man Thinketh so is he. Well, that is a version of the Biblical Verse, Proverbs 23:7 As a man thinketh IN HIS HEART, so is he. (emphasis mine).
I pointed out the ‘in his heart’ section because we have tons of thoughts…every minute and some of them are crazy and short-lived. Think about while you’re driving in traffic and someone cuts you off. Your thoughts are probably not nice, but you don’t ACT on them. You don’t hold them in your heart and think on them too long, which is GOOD.
The thoughts that last though, the thoughts that you hold in your heart are the ones that affect how you speak and how you feel. It is important that you think about…what you’re thinking about.
Here are 5 ways that you can enhance your marriage by addressing what you’re THINKING.
- Get in the practice of meditating. For some reason, many Christians believe that meditation is not of God and that it is something spooky or new-age like. That is not the case. In Joshua 1, the Lord says to Joshua to Meditate on the word day and night, do what you learn and then you will make your way prosperous and have success.Why meditate? Because it is focused concentration of what is important. For you as a wife, it is your marriage, the bond that the two of you have. Meditate every day on God’s word and on the goodness of your marriage.
- Start to Dream Again. I remember being at a meeting and the speaker said that couples don’t break up over money or infidelity, but they break up because they stop DREAMING TOGETHER. When was the last time you and your husband sat and talked about your dreams? You may have done it when you were newly married, but it is just as important now after 5, 10, 30 years. Have you shared your dreams of opening a boutique? Do you know if he still wants a cabin in the mountains? Dreams change, so they need updating. And you give each other life when you make room for those dreams.
- Listen to trusted individuals. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to interview all of the people that we know who have been married 40 years or more. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I mean you may have parents who have been married forever, but some of us didn’t. Why not interview them and then share 10 lessons you learned on social media? I would love it and I know others would as well.
- STOP looking at social media and comparing your marriage. I didn’t want to include this, but I deal with this every day. Social media is a wonderful source for building relationships and making connections with friends and family. But know that people are sharing what they WANT you to see…and usually that’s the good stuff, the cute stuff. Marriage is work and YOUR marriage deserves attention not someone else’s.
- Get naked. And for once I don’t mean physically naked (LOL!). I mean vulnerable, raw. Change is happening in BOTH of you and it’s not always comfortable to address it, but when you ignore it, it could be detrimental to you both. All change isn’t bad, so schedule some time to share and give your spouse room to do the same. Suspend judgment and just listen.
2020 starts a new decade. Let’s start a better, sexier chapter in our marriage. You’re up for this. I just know it and I am here for you all the way.